krn's fancy fixin's (Kron GU Siege 1 Write-Up)
Alright fools, its time for the best write-up you will read this season. These are the most accurate, unbiased predictions you will find. Take notes nerds.
1st $5514 kron Moskva alpha PACO unrealshots karmaohdee dewsick ravje terminator fallacy | Ⱦ|
2nd $5573 Convict timtim Uchiha silverwing Boon_MA_i shiva monk spoiled_brats krikor Glooz | (:HULK: )
3rd $5580 Dangerboy Adrian Moko Freeze Stephanie Shockwave Rum Snorlack humpty sheepy | «Đa$»
4th $5578 SK8 Blackshoot hikaru Toymac Gladiator chica Osyris Stormy Booty Warrior | -sAo*
5th $5578 Zac Cella chiseller chamberly fleece sovvie knockoutdad spiderman mal Damic | $2mP$
6th $5378 Lotrfan blaze outlaw banny broken_clock camilo disturbed nob mike jzus | ->{TBS}<-
#1: Arrogant Elite
Offense: Kron/Termi - 8/10 --- Defense: Unrealshots/Dewsick/Alpha - 10/10
Well like I said nerds, the most unbiased write up you will see here. I am being completely honest though these are very unbiased. The team I picked here is well balanced and laced with power. Not surprising at all when I picked my main man Moskva to fit our team out well on D. But couple him with sniper whores Unrealshots, Dewsick, and Alpha, and they will give any offense a run for their money. With a stallion like myself on offense, that automatically puts any team in contention to be the best, but couple that with a very overlooked Terminator, this offense could be one to watch out for. Some people have said they question the availability of these starters, but Kron says the availability is golden. Also with a solid crop of potential on our bench, led by Moskva the 6th man of the year, this team will have solid matches both Saturday and Sunday every week.
Bench: Moskva, PACO, fallacy, ravje - 8/10
#2: Fueled by Rage
Offense: Uchiha/Shiva/Krikor - 9/10 --- Defense: Convict/SilverWing - 8/10
Now a lot of people will question me about putting this team 2nd instead of 1st. They definitely have the BEST starting 5 on paper, but you have to look at many other things other than just whats written or typed. A Uchiha, Krikor, and Shiva offense is deadly, but Shiva will be missing a couple weeks, Uchiha is very laggy and cannot play at 100% due to it, and Krikor doesn't even play UT anymore. So with all those factors, this offense is up pretty much hit or miss. If it's a hit, watch out, but if it's a miss, that spells trouble. As for their defense, I just don't see it working too well chemistry wise. Convict's arrogant confidence of working alone on D cannot work well with SW, who in my days playing with him idiotically fails quite often. Couple that with the fact that they already have a shaky relationship and this D is questionable. But still, these are all 5 star powered players that could make me eat my own words. I won't even talk about their bench though, I left that shit in the toilet where it belongs.
Bench: Glooz, BOON_MA!!!!, timtim, Spoiled_Brats - 2/10
#3: Drunk Again & Look’n to Score
Offense: Dangerboy/Freeze/Adrian - 10/10 --- Defense: Snorlack/Sheepy - 6/10
This team and SK8's team are neck and neck for the #3 spot, the only reason I gave it to Dangerboy's team is for his team's name (which will probably be changed). Their offense is stellar, with the ressurection of the one and only professor himself Freeze getting covered by Dangerboy and Adrian. This combo will give defenses the WORST of headaches and I believe they have the best offense this season. The problem is gonna be their defense. Two sniper whores in Snorlack and Sheepy prove that Freeze was pulling some strings like a true professor. But that defense will lack in builds, mines, and hard nose weapons like rox and shock. They won't be building either which will put a burden on the offensive players to use their RU to build for the defense. But if this team works anything like JukeBox, watch out because they will be contenders.Their bench is average at best with Shockwave leading the way as their 6th. With Humpty and Rum having to show every single dev match, this team's depth might be an issue, considering they just might have to shoot some red spinny things.
Bench: Shockwave, Humpty, Rum, - 5/10
#4: Sniper Art Online
Offense: Blackshoot/Osyris/Warrior - 7/10 --- Defense: Hikaru/Gladiator - 6/10
Everyone is going to disagree with me on this one, but I just don't see the magic from this team that everyone else sees. Blackshoot and Osyris combination on offense NEVER works, and i mean NEVER. They always find someway to fuck things up. Keith and Gladiator on defense is the same exact thing as Snorlack and Sheepy on D. Both of the defenders won't build anything leaving the offense once again having the burden of building for the defense. That means less RU for offense and that means less offense in general. And this team cannot afford less offense because they will be giving up more RU than they earn with Blackshoot lacking the ability to frag anything at all. The really big problem I have with this team though is the language barrier that Keith is gonna have to deal with because he is on an all latino team. Keith better get Rosetta Stone quick cause they are gonna be screaming in spanish. This team has a solid bench though which is what saves them. Lets not forget now, SK8 is their 6th. Watch out on Saturdays.
Bench: SK8, Booty, Stormy, Chica - 7/10
#5: 2 Much Pimp
Offense: Cella, Chiseller, Damic - 6/10 --- Defense: MAL, Fleece - 5/10
This team is a mess and a half. I hear Chis was gonna pull a Convict until Zac saved the day by picking up Fleece. This team is just average at best in my eyes, although it actually has potential. Zac definitely juked the nation by picking and stealing Cella from Dangerboy. Other than him and Chis though this team goes downhill. The fact that Damic is even in the starting 5 with Cella and Chis on offense is very scary. Cella and Chis are gonna be a really good combination on offense which will give some defenses some problems, but lacking a strong 3rd offensive player will hurt them. On defense though I am kinda scared for this team. MAL is a coin toss on whether he will be there or not. And Fleece isn't really much of a fragger. They could be a good combination together but I just don't see it working too well. They are too different to work well on certain maps. Zac's bench is deep though which might keep him alive if he can go undefeated in dev matches. His team looked pretty bad right at the draft's conclusions, but this team might surprise this nation.
Bench: Zac, Sovvie, Spiderman, chamberly - 8/10
#6: The Bong Squad
Offense: Lotrfan, Camilo - 4/10 --- Defense: Blaze, Banny, Mike - 8/10
Now this, my friends is the definition of a disaster waiting to happen. Im not gonna say anything really bad about this team, but everyone is definitely putting them off. An offense of invisibility and jetpacking doesn't sound too intimidating at all. Couple that with the fact that Blaze is the only true fragger on the team, their matches aren't gonna be pretty. I really like Banny and Blaze on D because I believe they will compliment each other well. But this team will not accumulate any RU because every other team is gonna be frag happy while these guys are rocking the solid 25%EFF. I will say that Lotr picked a stellar bench though which might win him some crucial dev matches. Other than that though, I just don't see this team doing anything or making any big splashes this season. But who knows, they might shock us all.
Bench: Broken_Clock, jzus, n0b, outlaw, disturbed - 9/10
Wasn't biased, suck it nerds.
BTW, Thx Freeze for the design/layout of the write-up.
